The Nate Addink Family House

For those we do not talk to on the phone, here is the update on our house purchasing.

We are hoping to buy a house located in Brooklyn Center. It was built in 1920, it has 4-5 bedrooms, 1.5 stories, and an apartment in the basement, all totaling about 2100 sq. ft. It sits on about 3/4 an acre, backed up to a little creek. There are pictures posted in our album on the very last page. The property had been foreclosed upon so it is bank-owned. The listing was for $139,900, which we learned today is less than half of what the bank has invested in the property. The house is valued at between $200k and $240k.

We put in an offer on the 24th of July. Our offer was a low-ball offer, and required that the sellers cover about $4500-$5000 worth of costs that would be incurred for closing, taxes, etc. Given the market in the cities, we and our agent felt it was a fair offer, but we didn’t really know the true value of the house. We found out today (July 31) that the bank refused our offer and said the price they set was firm, and they would not cover buyers’ costs.

We also found out that the previous owners (they-who-had-been-foreclosed-upon) were not the most recent inhabitants. They had rented the house to someone who in turn illegally sub-let the basement apartment and equally illegally grew pot in one of the upstairs bedrooms. They were finally thrown out of the house a month-and-a-half ago, and left a great deal of their things behind (as evidenced by the pictures). In fact, if we wanted to steal someone’s identity, they left plenty of paperwork around to do so. I pretty sure that their credit score is not one we’d want, though.

The city said the bank must clean out the house before putting it on the market, so today, almost two weeks later, the cleaning crew finished doing so. The difference between the first and the second viewing was huge. See the pictures.
Tonight we increased our offer. It is still under their list price, but with closing costs and other pieces, we will end up paying pretty close to what they are asking. When our agent (Dale) talked to the bank agent (Duane) tonight, Duane said he thought our offer stood a very good chance of being accepted. He also said that this time the bank shouldn’t take quite so long in responding to it… we’re hoping to hear something by the end of the week, though that is probably a little too optimistic considering the bank’s response time so far.

Motherhood

I have learned a few things these last 2 years, though I admit that most of my learning has taken place the last year more than anything.

I learned this morning that when my son makes noises indicating that he is awake, I had better enter the room immediately, not later when I feel like it.

As I walked into the room and Eli said, “Hi!” in his cheeriest voice, then pointed to the rest of his crib and said, “oo oooh!” I saw his naked bottom first. I had to leave the room for a minute to regain control. Fortunately, there were only two wet spots on the mattress.

Unfortunately, that was the least of the cleanup.

Smeared over every blanket, the crib bars, his teddy bear, his pillow, his shirt, his head, (thankfully he did not decide to paint his face or mouth with it!), and of course the sheet was an amazing amount of smelly dark brown. Apparently when his diaper was full he decided to poop in the middle of his crib—NOT in his removed diaper—then cover it with blankets, bear, and pillow. Also, he had dropped a dark green patterned blanket on the floor, and I discovered that the color camouflaged the dark squishies very well, and, well, I stepped directly on a clump or two. I did learn that I hate stepping on poop with my bare toes even more than I hate stepping on and squishing Kix, no matter what level of sogginess or freshness they may be at.

I have also learned to be careful what and how I praise. For example, while it was very cute and sweet when Hannah got me a dish towel a few weeks ago and placed it over me for a “banket” while I was laying on the couch calming 2 babies, it was less cute the 6th time she returned with another “towel blanket” for Mommy and the children. By that trip, all I could think of was my now-trashed towel drawer and how would I be able to tell which towels were clean and which were not? I regretted so lavishly praising Hannah for her first cute act.

I have learned not to walk by Eli when he is eating in his high chair. His hands are lightning quick and NEVER clean. Nor are my shirts. Or pants. Or hair.

*********************

For most of the last three or so years, I have struggled with motherhood. I have enviously watched my single or married-without-children friends or sisters move freely and struggle with much more fun issues than I get to (i.e.: “Shall I live in the dorms at college or pay $350 a month to rent a mansion on a lake with 7 other girls?” or “Should we go to Hawaii for our anniversary or the Bahamas?”)

To keep a proper perspective, I have recently begun making a list of the benefits and negatives of being without children and having children.

THE PRIVILEGES OF THE CHILD-FREE LIFE

• You can leave the house without a diaper bag.
• You can leave the house whenever you feel like it.
• You can leave the house without having to spend 36 minutes making sure the babysitter (or daddy) knows when to feed the children, what to feed them, how often to change the baby’s diaper, how frequently the two-year-old needs to be reminded to go potty, where and what my cell phone number is…
• You can leave the house.
• It does not take fifteen minutes to load and unload children from carseats every time you go out.
• You can wear pretty clothes all day long and not need to wash every stitch you had on because a snotty nose or filthy hands or a juice cup soiled you.
• You can own clothes that need to be dry cleaned.
• You can do laundry only once a week—or even only twice a month!
• You rarely have to wash the kitchen floor.
• Your house can look immaculate for more than 22 minutes. Or even 2 days.
• You can watch any and every movie in the theater almost whenever you want.
• You have time to talk on the phone and your conversations are not splattered with noises like, “That’s very nice! Good job! Yes, dear. Mommy’s on the phone. No-no-no-no-NO! DO NOT do that! Put that down right now!” *CRASH* Click.
• You have time to make a cup of tea or coffee and drink it, all in the same portion of the day.
• You tend not to keep record of every family member’s bowel movements of the last 24 hours.
• You have the freedom to travel wherever finances allow as often as they or your schedule can handle, and you don’t have to call five or six people to arrange childcare in shifts or clumps.
• Alone time” means an afternoon or day spent all by oneself, perhaps shopping or reading a book while sipping coffee in a bookstore or coffee shop.
• You can be on the computer checking email, browsing online, or playing games without active little fingers pushing keys or moving the mouse or crashing the computer.
• You can go out with friends whenever your schedule allows, which is nearly always more than once every two months.
• You can eat or drink anything without thinking about a baby either nursing or being “baked” inside you eating or drinking that same thing.
• Spontaneity doe not involve calling 6-8 people to arrange childcare at the last minute, then spending the rest of the evening regretting you did not give your babysitter more notice.
• You do not really know what stress is like, even though it may occasionally seem like it.

THE PRIVILEGES OF PARENTING

• A babysitter, aunt/uncle, friend, etc. do not compare to the adoration and complete loyalty that Mom and Dad receive (for now anyway)
• You never knew what rest meant until in the middle of a full and crazy day, the children decide to nap for you at the same time.
• A little person holds your face in her hands, looks deeply into your eyes, and says, “You’re so pretty, Mommy. I love you so much.”
• Middle-of-the-night cuddling
• You know every aisle of Target—especially the baby one—even better than the employees do.
• Multi-tasking takes on a whole new meaning: Change 2 diapers, then call a friend while (1)preparing breakfast for children, (2)feeding the baby while simultaneously picking up dropped/squished food and wiping the floor and wall so the slime does not calcify, (3)fitting in everyone’s vitamins, drink-cups, and—somehow—your own breakfast and at the same time as (4)thinking of what needs to be packed in the diaper bag before leaving and (5)doing your hair and makeup in hopes that the average person will not notice the food-stained clothing and bloodshot eyes, and somehow will think that you are well put-together…
• The grin that says, “You. Are. My. World.”
• Eliciting the belly-laugh that is perhaps the most joyously addicting thing
• “Alone time” is rarer than snow in MN in June, and now includes the rare times one can use the bathroom or shower without another person in the room with you. Maybe that one really isn’t a privilege.
• Watching pieces of yourself come out in the vocabulary of a developing toddler (“What the heck, Abby!”)
• You appreciate small things even more, like the gift of a couple of hours of adult conversation that reminds you that you really did go to college and you really do have a degree or two, and once, you also had a larger vocabulary which included more than four-letter words (like “STOP!” and “DON’T!” and “Quit that!”… not the other ones. Those can only be whispered in the quietest breath or they get repeated by mouths much smaller than yours).
• Magical healing kisses
• Eli-hugs: his throws his little body against you and nuzzles your neck and cheeks, then leans on your shoulders in complete trust
• Husband-wife alone time is infinitely more precious and joyful because of its rarity
• You did not realize quite how little you loved before and how much you could love until they came. In fact, all your feelings are more vivid and “real” than they ever were before.
• You watch how praise, love, and boundaries transforms a little person
• Two-year-old tuneless songs that are snatches of real songs, snatches of real-life conversations, and a few “baby talk” words (“I will sing of my ‘Deemer… No-no, Mommy, I can-not go pot-ty in my potty chair..da-gooo-la-joo-joo…”)
• Markers. They don’t just decorate paper, they also decorate walls, carpet, tables, chairs, beds, freshly-washed pillowcases and—most frequently—tattoo arms, legs, hands, and faces. And ears.
• Your stories are more entertaining. Like:

¨ Eli paints his head with whatever food he may be having during a particular meal. This causes his head to itch, which makes him cranky. I’m not sure why he has begun painting his head with food in the first place.

¨ Hannah takes spoonfuls of milk from her cereal bowl and carefully pours it in puddles on the table. When I asked her why she does this, she told me because it is fun and when Mommy was little, she liked to do it too. I do not remember finding such joy in dumping milk all over the table then spreading it, repeatedly, every morning, but my memory isn’t what it used to be. Thankfully, I have Hannah to remind me.

¨ Out of the blue Hannah says, “You’re crazy, Mommy!” I am not! “You’re crazy about Hannah!” This is true. And sometimes also crazy because of her.

¨ Hannah peed on my lap, then the guest room bed. Then she said, “Oops.” Magically, her tights had but a tiny wet spot in them while the thigh of my jeans was soaked. How is that possible?

• You know where every bathroom is in every store, even the non-marked ones in strip malls or downtown skyways.
• You have less pride. You walk down aisle 5 of the grocery store when it occurs to you that you are generating attention, and while your kids are incredibly cute, it is more likely that people are staring at you because you have been making a tooting sound the entire time you have been in the grocery store because that sound amuses your son, which is very important in a grocery store…
• The idea that God loved us so much that He sent His Son to be put to death for us… this takes on a new level of wonderment and awe. There is no one I love so well for whom I would give up my children.

Brushing Teeth

So for the last few months I’ve had trouble convincing KelleAyn to let me brush her teeth. Every night it was the same. She would scream when I came near her with a toothbrush.  One night last week, I was upstairs working on my computer and it got to be bed time so I told Trenton to go downstairs and brush his teeth. She, of course, followed him downstairs. About 10 minutes later they come back up and ask me “What now?” I tell him to go get pajamas on while I go down and brush KelleAyn’s teeth. He looks at me and says “I did it already.”

“I know you brushed your teeth but I need to go do KelleAyns”

Again he looks at me almost confused and says “I did it already”

“You brushed her teeth?”

“Yeah”

So I check. Sure enough he had brushed her teeth for her while they were downstairs. Since then, she has had no problem letting me brush her teeth. Who knew that my 4 year old would be the one to solve that problem?  Now if only I could get him to potty train her for me.