Addendum to the Sale

To make up for his terrible behavior the previous day, Eli was spectacular the day after I wrote that last post.  The entire day, for nearly all of his waking moments, he did not fight with Hannah, did not whine (at least very little), and he only had ONE accident, which may have truly been an accident and not an “I-want-to-change-my-Lightning-McQueen-underwear” intentional.  (A clarification: the opposite of an “accident” is an “intentional”.  Eli has many “intentionals” and only a few “accidents”.)  Additionally, he spent a good bit of his lunch hour singing to Nayah.  And she giggled at him!  She actually liked her brother!  For an entire half hour, all three of my children got along, quietly and happily playing with each other.  It was a lovely taste of what could be an everyday occurance someday. 

Like either in heaven or when they are adults.

P.S. n8 reminded me: ELI DID NOT HAVE A SINGLE ACCIDENT OR INTENTIONAL TODAY!!!!  This is a first since that post on Eli being potty-trained.  Today, he actually told me when he needed to go, instead of lying about it, rufusing to pee when put on the toilet, then peeing in his pants 68 seconds later.  This is big.  I need to record such things to remind myself that every so often, a light blinks at the end of the long, dark tunnel.

SALE!

We have a sale on kids, a clearance, really, especially on two-year-old boys.  We only have one in stock, so contact us quickly!  Claim Eli before anyone else has a chance to! 

ELI’s SPECIAL QUALITIES
1.  Ability to whine (refusal to stop, despite many and varied discipline techniques)
2.  Ability to beg (see the above parenthetical statement)
3.  Can counter-potty-train self (rewards self with a fresh new pair of underwear after each “accident”)
4.  Announces desire to make a mess before acting on it
5.  Ability to discover and activiate siblings’ Irritation Buttons, joyfully and intentionally
6.  Inabilty to accept “no” as an answer
7.  Abilty to melt down with screams, fat (but fake) tears, and red face when crossed, especially in grocery stores
8.  Can sufficate small children (again, joyfully and intentionally)
9.  Ability to flush undergarments (and other less-than-small objects) down the toilet.  Many times.
10. Can empty a bathtub of its water without unstopping the drain (from tub to floor in 2½ minutes)

Hurry!  The offer ends soon!  If Eli is not purchased by the end of the week, we will be puttng him next to the curb in a box.  If he stays in the box, maybe someone will take him.  He does appear to be exceedingly cute to the average viewer.

Respond now and we’ll throw in a 5-month-old baby who LOVES attention!  This wonderful child will giggle and chatter with you, displaying her fetching dimple, as long as you are within a two-foot radius of her.  As soon as you exit the “bubble”, sirens will go off.  She does have the ability to break glass with her screams, and who doesn’t need a dish or two broken?   (Eli also is great at shattering glass, but in a completely different manner than Nayah does.) 

Email Nate or Bett for further descriptions of product and prices.  Prices change by the situation (hourly or more frequently).