The 1,244th Day

May 13, 2009 on 8:27 pm | In Bett's, Funny Kid Stories | No Comments

 ”For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways…”     –Isaiah 55:8

“Eli, sometimes you’re not very smart.”  Eli had taken his jar of nickels back from his little sister, then, as he walked away, tipped his jar upside down while he swung his arms, oblivious to the fact that he had just emptied it.  n8’s comment summed up Eli’s day today.  Sometimes I wonder if, on such days, Eli activates fewer brain cells, if they are just missing, or if his energy is going someplace other than his brain.  Or if he was born with a brain at all.

Breakfast ended with Hannah’s announcement, “Eli’s mixed his juice and milk together and he’s playing with it.”  I thumped into the kitchen.  It was altogether worse than Hannah’s description.  Eli was swirling his hands in “soup.”  What started out as simply a mixture of milk and juice, ended as a soup comprised of said liquids and any other small object left on the table within his reach.  Milk curdles when mixed with orange juice.  In addition to the curdles, I found the cap to the milk, flower petals, and a Kleenex or two—part shredded and rolled into dumpling-styled balls, part sogged into a thickening agent for the “soup.”

Eli has been alive for 1,244 days (and hopefully counting).  There has NEVER been a time in those 1,244 days when I have even remotely given him the idea that this was acceptable as an after-breakfast pasttime.  Like a stuck CD, I jerk over the words continuously: “No, you-may-not-dip-your-hand-in-your-cup.  Nothing-should-go-in-your-cup. Do-not-drink-your-milk-with-a-spoon-again.  Stop-dipping-your-fork-in-your-cup-and-licking-it.  Drink-like-a-normal-person.  No-dumping-or-in-any-other-way-transferring-liquids-from-container-to-container-at-the-table.  Your-cereal-milk-does-not-go-into-your-juice-cup.  What-is-your-hand-doing-in-your-glass?”  I think that I am as clear as any human possibly could be about proper table ettiquette, and these things fall into the “NEVER DO THIS AGAIN” category.  So WHY?!  He KNOWS better!  He dressed himself this morning and had chosen his shirt that says “It seemed like a good idea at the time.”  It almost cost him his fingers today.

It became increasingly clear to me just why it is that we have a serious ant problem around our dining room table.  Because of it, I had to wash the table, chairs, floor, and walls surrounding Eli’s area.

The rest of the day he proved just as brilliant.  Eli ran into other children, a rocking recliner, and a step because he was running without looking where he was going.  He had trouble finding his other shoe right behind him, and kept turning in circles until I focused him.  When I asked him to get a diaper for Nayah, instead walking the two steps to his closet and picking it up, he ran to my bedroom and started searching through my nightstand drawers.  It bewildered us until we remembered that the diapers had been there three months ago.

At bedtime it was, “Mommy, look.  Look at this.”  I was sitting on the floor, paying attention to another child.  He was naked, two feet from my face.  Thinking he actually had something to show me, I turned to look at him.  He showed me his *ahem* Unit.  With glowing pride.

I have changed his diapers, bathed him, pulled down his pants, lifted him onto toilets, and helped point his potty stick correctly for 1,244 days.  So believe me when I say I’ve seen it.